Playing with Fire
by MissTeak
Summary: I know playing with fire will lead to getting burned, but because he's the fire, I will willingly play. [Lemon warning][Kougaiji♡Yaone] A two part fic, set right after Episode 5 of the anime series.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or any of the characters. I just like to borrow them as an outlet for my muse to express its creativity.

A/N: My first ever Saiyuki fic! It will be a two-part focusing on the pairing of Kougaiji and Yaone, one of the most overlooked couples (in my opinion). I re-watched Episode 5 of the anime, "Beautiful Assassin" and the idea of this fic was born. The story is set right after that episode, after Yaone failed in her mission to kill Sanzo ikkou. I'm trying to further explore the relationship between the two of them, and hopefully, provide more insights on their feelings. The fiction will be done in Yaone's POV.

**Warning:** This two-part fic contains hints at a lemon (which will be in chapter 2), but it will not be overly graphic. You've been warned, so I should not be seeing flames. Flames will be given to Kougaiji to play with.

Alright, enough said. Read, enjoy and review please! I hope you guys will like this fic!

**Title: Playing with Fire (Part 1)**

* * *

I've failed.

I've failed so miserably, in the most dishonorable of ways.

I failed in my mission to be of assistance to him.

I even failed in ending my own life, and even endangered his.

The glistening knife was just inches away from terminating my life, as I braced myself for the pain and darkness that was to follow my choice for a dignified death.

"_Farewell, Kougaiji-sama…"_ I whispered; my tears falling freely down my cheeks…until I felt an overwhelming gust of powerful demonic aura and speed, sweeping me off the ground and forcefully wrenching the knife out of my grip. I was vaguely aware of a pair of strong arms holding me tightly to a firm, solid body.

The wind was rushing against my face, before I struggled to open my eyes.

"_Kou-Kougaiji-sama!"_

He had come for me, when I was at my most vulnerable.

He didn't seem to be angry with me for failing, but I cannot find it within me to forgive myself. It was precisely because of me that the monk got the chance to point the gun at his head, and if he died because of that, I don't know what I'll do.

As I watched the monk raise the gun, a million thoughts raced through my mind. _Should I attempt to push the monk out of the way? Should I beg him to remove the gun? Should I beg to die in his place instead?_

But I didn't do any of that. I was simply in a state of shock and helplessness, fully dependant on him for protection. Even after we left, I couldn't say a single word. All I could do was steal glances at his hand, bleeding profusely from wrenching the knife out of my hands earlier on, stopping my suicide attempt.

It was when we stopped at the forest, did he speak up.

I was expecting him to berate me, not express concern.

"_Did you get hurt?"_

After I ruined the mission, almost ended my life, almost caused him to lose his, all he wanted to know was if I got hurt.

In my panic, I started apologizing profusely, offering my life as redemption for my failure. I have let him down so badly; he most probably doesn't trust me to work for him anymore.

"_I'm willing to die to atone for my mista-"_

"_Don't be ridiculous! I will not tolerate it when my subordinates speak of throwing their lives away so easily!"_

I couldn't reply to that…It was as if my mind became a vacuum at that moment. It was the first time he shouted at me so harshly.

From my position on the sandy ground, I could clearly hear his breathing – harsh, desperate for control.

And then he spoke up again.

"_Are you thinking of breaking your promise to be by my side forever?"_

He didn't know…that was the last thing I would ever do.

I can never bring myself to leave him. Only death would be capable of doing so.

Right now, sitting alone in my chambers, I watched the flame of the burning candle in front of me, and how the wax at the tip would melt into a clear red liquid before running down the length of the candle in rivulets to solidify into a shapeless mass on the table.

The single flame was hot, glaring and full of life.

Just like him. He is fire.

If he was the flame, I would be the candle; melting so helplessly at his mercy, only to end up in a mess.

He's so dangerous, so wild…unbridled…and so incredibly attractive. I don't deny that my desire to prove my worth and impress him constitutes part of the reason of my loyalty to him. If only he would notice me a little more…

"Kougaiji-sama…" I whispered, tentatively reaching out to touch the flame. My fingertip got closer with every passing second, until it rested directly in the yellow flame.

I bit my lower lip, feeling unbearable pain shoot through my fingertip to reach the rest of my body. The hungry flame licked at my finger, until it became too much for me to bear.

Crying out softly, I drew my hand back, wincing from the searing pain. It was no use…one should never play with fire. You get too close, you get burned. It was just about as simple as that, and this theory stands testimony to how unattainable Kougaiji-sama will always be.

"What are you doing?"

I froze; I could recognize that voice anywhere.

Frantically hiding my hand behind myself, I stood up to face the door, only to see the very man who haunts my dreams standing there. His face was almost expressionless, yet his eyes were a tad wider than usual. In his hand, was a small bottle of what appears to be ointment.

"Kou-Kougaiji-sama," I greeted him shakily, plastering a smile onto my face. "What brings you here at this hour?"

His facial expression didn't change; instead, he looked straight into my eyes.

"Why are you hurting yourself?"

The roof of my mouth went dry as cotton in that instant, as I struggled with my mind for the right response, instinctively drawing my hand back more.

"Wha-What are you talking about, Kougaiji-sama?"

"Don't bother with denial. I saw everything."

"I…I…"

"Yaone, why are you hurting yourself?" He pressed on, walking towards me, before I stepped back instinctively. I could feel fear and discomfort rising up rapidly in me in the face of direct confrontation from him. His overwhelming presence was not making it any easier for me to breathe.

"Please, stop asking-"

The rest of the sentence never got to leave my lips as he reached out swiftly to grasp my hand in his, holding it in front of his face in a firm but gentle grip. I grimaced in pain as he ran the pad of his thumb tenderly over the singed skin of my index finger.

"Why?" His voice was calm and slow, despite my efforts to withdraw my hand from his hold.

"Don't…please, I beg of you, Kougaiji-sama!" I was almost close to tears by now, from the fear, embarrassment and the sheer pressure of having him in such close proximity.

"I want to know." He refused to relinquish his hold.

"I…" The tears had welled up and started making their way down my cheeks by now. I knew he would not give up until he got the answer he wanted. "I…I wanted to…"

"To do what?"

"To touch you," The words left me in the barest of whispers, as I summoned all the courage I had to look at him in the face, watching surprise take its place on his handsome face, before the acrid tears blurred my vision. "I wanted to touch you, Kougaiji-sama."

He was silent, and for seconds, all we did was look at each other, with the only sounds in the room being that of our breathing.

I no longer felt any fear; not when I've already come so far in pushing my luck.

He still didn't breathe a word, only to surprise me in turn when he lifted my hand and placed it against his cheek.

My heart seemed to have stopped in the instant my hand came into contact with his face, the perfect face which have been in my thoughts and heart since he saved me from doom years ago. From our point of contact, tingles shot up the length of my hand, burning a direct path of forbidden desire towards my heart.

"Then touch." He whispered, his eyes locked with mine in a powerful gaze that rendered me completely helpless.

And touch I did.

Tracing the strong outline of his jaw with my trembling fingers from his pointed ear to his chin, I gingerly explored his chiseled features, running my fingers along the dusty red markings on his perfect face. My heart in my throat, as my hand cupped his cheek, thumb drawing little circles on the smooth skin, under which I knew resided a strong and respectable spirit.

His eyes were closed, as he leaned into my touch slowly, and for once, I felt as if I wasn't the only one affected by our physical contact.

He's so perfect; he is the epitome of perfection.

As I eventually drew away, breaking the magical connection, he opened his eyes.

"Aren't you going to kill me for my insolence, Kougaiji-sama?" I said breathily, my voice hoarse from my tears and the emotional intensity. "Aren't you going to punish me for being a failure? For putting us in danger, and ruining your noble plans?"

He did not reply.

With this newfound false courage, I continued speaking, unfaltering. I was too emotionally-charged and caught up to stop.

"I know you're upset with me for failing you; so instead of doing nothing, I implore you to punish me. Please allow me to make up for my errors in some way, instead of leaving me hanging here, with the knowledge that you're upset and yet deliberately not doing anything about it. Please, Kougaiji-sama…I wouldn't protest even if you wish to take my life."

He went on looking at me, motionless, while the atmosphere in the air mounted up to a suffocating level, threatening to drown me. The fragrance of the sandalwood incense by my bedside was almost making me nauseous.

I swallowed, lubricating my throat after all the crying and talking, while bravely keeping my head up.

All I saw was a blur of red, before I found myself caught in his heated, crushing embrace.

He held me tightly, almost to the point of being fiercely, his strong arms pressing my body so closely to his larger frame. I stiffened; this is what I had been dreaming of for countless of lonely nights, but yet it feels so weird now, driving my senses into anxiety.

"You're only half-right, Yaone." He said, ever so softly, by the shell of my ear, his warm breath dancing over it. "You're right in saying that I'm upset, but the reasons you gave are totally wrong."

"What did I get wrong, Kougaiji-sama?" I whispered back, trying to breathe normally to calm down.

This time round, he wasted no time in replying. Releasing me abruptly from his embrace, eliciting a cry of surprise, he held me by the shoulders, looking deep into my eyes as I tried desperately to evade the overwhelming eye contact.

"You know why I am upset?" He asked, his breath coming out shorter and faster, agitation being the culprit.

I did not speak, because I did not know what to say or what to expect.

"It's not because of your failure in that mission, and it's definitely not over how we could have lost our lives today." He continued. "I'm upset with you because you don't value your life at all! You thought of killing yourself just like that, and begged me to let you pay with your life. Damn, Yaone, do you really believe your life is worthless? If it does not matter in the least to you, let me tell you this – It matters to me."

_

* * *

To be continued…_

A/N: I hope you guys like this chapter so far, and also hope I didn't make the characters seem OOC too much. It's quite hard trying to analyze them, since they are not the main characters such as Sanzo and gang, but nonetheless a very enjoyable writing process.

I put a lot of effort into this, so if you liked it and would like to see the final installation, chapter 2, up soon, please reward my efforts by dropping a review! College life is terribly busy, and a bit of motivation keeps authors going. Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or any of the characters.

A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed! I wasn't expecting much hits, given how overlooked this couple is. Thank you very much once again! This chapter will contain hints of a lemon. You've been warned! Now read on, and enjoy it! Please review if you wish; I might go on writing more of this pairing.

**Title: Playing with Fire (Part 2)**

* * *

His words hit me like blows from a sledgehammer, knocking sense into my mind with every word he spoke. I…I mattered to him?

"Kou-Kougaiji-sama…"

"You don't know how much you matter to me. You don't know how I feel when I hear you speak of death so easily. You don't know the anxiety I felt when I saw you getting ready to plunge the knife into yourself. You don't know the pain I experienced when I opened the door to see you burning yourself."

"I-"

"To say I am upset is an understatement, Yaone. Why must I lose the only things on this earth which I wish to protect? I've already lost my mother…I don't know what I'll do if I lost you too!" He continued, his eyes shining with his pent-up frustration and pain.

"I've always wanted to become stronger in order to protect all that I lived for, and today, I saw how little you value yourself. What's the point of me getting stronger when I cannot even watch over what is important to me?"

He said…I was important to him.

This was the first time he ever bared so much of his soul to me.

I was at a loss for what to do…what should I do, what should I say?

"Please…Kougaiji-sama…" I started weakly, no longer fighting against his strong hold on my shoulders. He was oddly quiet after saying so much, just breathing hard, staring at the ground between us. "I'm sorry…I didn't kno-"

A muffled cry of surprise escaped me a moment later as his lips descended upon mine in a fierce, possessive display of passion. It was forceful, to the point of being painful, before I willingly offered all I had to give in a state of clouded desire. His tongue snaked into my mouth to engage mine in a fierce fight for dominance, while his hand reached behind my nape to swiftly undo the ribbon holding my ponytail up, burying itself among the long purple tresses which have fallen free.

The emotions and sensations coursing through me were so intense; I thought I might pass out from it. His scent, heightened by an evident arousal, was so strong, especially to my youkai senses. I could hear the frantic beating of my heart as the sheer knowledge of how wrong this was hit me, but there was nothing, _absolutely nothing_, I could do to stop myself and the surging feelings.

Wrapping my arms around his broad frame, I clung onto him, surrendering myself to the onslaught of sensations while he kissed the very senses out of me. All I could feel was his unbridled passion, his skillful tongue and his unique, masculine taste. It was neither sweet nor spicy, but simply _him_. He was hot and searing, _fiery_.

He is fire.

His assault on my mouth continued exquisitely, before I felt an eager hand slip under my nightdress. It was then when I couldn't help letting out a soft moan of pleasure from the contact, before he abruptly pulled away from me, breathing hard.

"Kou-Kougaiji-sama?" I asked breathily, confusion creeping into the haze of desire that occupied my mind earlier on. What was wrong?

He closed his flashing maroon eyes, drawing a few deep breaths before saying, "I'm sorry, Yaone. I shouldn't have…"

Realization hit me like a tidal wave.

He regretted kissing me. He regretted our moment of intimacy. Before I knew it, fresh tears were welling up in my eyes, threatening to flow. I had reacted to his kiss so willingly, so enthusiastically like a wanton woman, and it was all for nothing. He felt regret.

I looked away, seeing my own reflection in the mirror on my dressing table. My hair was disheveled, my nightdress crumpled, and my lips were red and swollen from earlier on. I looked terrible…I cannot even imagine what he'd think of me.

"Are…are you ashamed of it, Kougaiji-sama?" I whispered, clenching my hands into fists for any last bit of sanity and pride to hold on to. "Was it…that bad?"

He looked up, and for a moment, I saw confusion flicker through his eyes, before realization and guilt took over.

"No. Not at all." He admitted softly.

"Then why did you pull away suddenly? Why are you blowing cold now?" I cried. I needed an answer from him, even if he didn't feel the same way as I do for him. I know what I was doing was too audacious of me, but I'm not giving up without getting a satisfactory response.

"You really wish to know?" His voice was oddly tight, as if he was trying to keep something under control.

Biting my lower lip, I nodded.

He did not say a word, and in the dead of the night, all I could hear was the chirping of the crickets outside. Everything was so calm and yet so awkwardly tense at the same time. It was then when he moved so rapidly to stand in front of me, lifting my chin up with his fingers to look at him in the eyes. This little gesture felt so overwhelming; it felt as if my whole being was in his control.

Leaning down till his face was no more than two inches away from mine, he whispered heatedly, his voice husky. "You think I regret kissing you, don't you? Let me tell you this, Yaone."

I wanted the answer, but his gaze was so strong; I desperately wanted to evade.

"I stopped because if I went on, I won't be able to stop myself from taking you over and over again right here."

My eyes widened as his words registered themselves in my mind, followed by a familiar warmth creeping my neck to flush my cheeks red. Surely he didn't mean…

"Now that you know," He said, stepping back to look at the door, his tanned face tinged slightly pink. "I better get going…have a good rest, Yaone. Don't do anything stupid-"

He took a few steps towards the door, when…

"Wait, Kougaiji-sama."

"Hmm?" He paused in his steps, back facing me.

"Please don't go…" I said softly, the heat in my cheeks rising with every passing second. "I have…I have something to ask you."

"Speak."

"Did…did you mean what you said earlier on? I mean…I…I'm not attractive…neither am I-"

"I have no reason to lie," He replied coolly, almost as if the seriousness of this conversation did not matter. "And I think you're beautiful."

It felt like something bloomed in my heart; sending a sweet, warm feeling through my entire system that left tingles in my limbs and a fluttery feeling in my middle.

Leaving me standing there with a furious blush, he said, "It's late. I should get-"

He didn't get to finish; for in my anxiety of having him leave and not looking back, I had thrown my arms around him before he could reach the door, pressing myself as hard as I could to his broad, solid back.

"Don't go, Kougaiji-sama…" I could feel his entire body stiffen, trembling ever so slightly.

"Let go, Yaone." His voice sounded baritone and husky when my ear was pressed against his back.

"No."

"Are you defying me?" He asked, his voice oddly strained.

I shook my head, refusing to relinquish my hold on him. It was only then I realized it was just too simple for him to wrench my arms away from his being and push me aside.

"You don't get it, do you? Yaone, if I stayed, I'll…I'll…" He struggled for the right words.

"Then do it." I surprised myself with my words, before a sob escaped me. "It's alright, I want it too, Kougaiji-sama!"

He took a deep, quivering breath. "Yaone, you don't know what you're saying. It is alright for me, but your honor is at stake. We are not married, and if I were to taint you-"

"I don't mind it at all, if…if it's with you."

"Yaone, I can't risk your honor."

"Are you worried I'll ask you to take responsibility and marry me, Kougaiji-sama?" I asked, my voice equally shaky. "Then you should not worry, because I will never do so."

"It's not that, Yaone…" He replied. "There's a great possibility of me dying in battle…and what if I die before I can give you a proper status? You will be left alone, and it will be hard for you to find another man to take care of you."

"I don't care! I'd be willing to stay alone for the rest of my life if I could have a moment with you, Kougaiji-sama! My life belonged to you the instant you saved me."

"Yaone…" He whispered, before turning around quickly to claim my lips for himself all over again. It was every bit as fiery as before, but this time round, it felt different; it was so much more unbridled, spelling the beginning to so much more.

"Kougaiji-sama…" I whispered against his lips, reaching up to cup his cheeks.

"Kougaiji." He whispered back, the ghost of his breath dancing across my lips. "Call me Kougaiji."

His hands moved up my back, one stopping at my waist while the other reached behind my head, intertwining his fingers among locks of my hair. His fingers deftly undid the straps of my nightdress, never breaking the kiss we were sharing, before I took the initiative to pull the dress over my head, leaving myself almost bare except for my underwear.

He broke the kiss, and for a few seconds, did nothing but stare at me, causing me to squirm uncomfortably.

"You are lovely." He mumbled before he quickly removed his own clothes, leaving him in all of his natural glory. I stifled a gasp; Kougaiji-sama was the epitome of perfection…it was nothing less than I've ever imagined, and to see him this way for the first time brought sparks and rekindled desire coursing through my veins.

He returned his attention to me quickly, tilting his head to gain better access to my neck, kissing and nibbling along my collarbone. His touches were gentle and fiery at the same time; it felt like he was setting every spot he brushed across on fire. Contact with him felt like a drug, leaving me ever so hungry for more as he wreaked havoc on my senses.

My mind was clouded with a haze that only his presence could evoke, and before I could fathom anything, he had removed the remaining pieces of clothing from my body, leaving me equally bare as he was. Instinctively, I shielded myself from him with my hands, as if I suddenly remembered he was my lord.

"Beautiful…" He breathed, removing my hands from my body. "You are so beautiful, Yaone."

He continued his addictive kisses, while skillfully maneuvering our joined bodies to my bed before gently laying me down on the soft covers. It was a whole new experience to me; even the feeling of bare skin against the embroidered cotton covers was new.

"Kougaiji-sama…I-" My voice hitched in my throat as he bent down to lick a burning trail from my neck to my exposed breasts.

"Shhh. Don't talk…just feel." He murmured against my chest, his tongue drawing circles around a nipple, while a hand snaked up to cup the swell of my left breast. Another hand reached down between my thighs, gently nudging them apart, before a slow sensual touch down there elicited a small shriek from me. His fingers, calloused from his long years of martial arts training, created a delightful friction unlike anything I've felt in my entire life. I could feel the wetness between my thighs start to increase, and the embarrassing moans I released in my pleasure caused me to shield my face from him with my hands.

A long, strong finger slipped into my body without any warning, before I gave a loud breathy moan which seemed to encourage Kougaiji-sama, who increased the speed of the thrusting of his finger in me. There was this weird feeling of warmth pooling around the base of my abdomen, as I whimpered helplessly, partly from the intense sensations and the foreign feelings attacking my senses.

The sudden loss of the finger was followed by a cry of disappointment from me, which did not last for he quickly replaced his tender ministrations with something warm, strong and soft, creating a whole new intimate experience for me. Removing my hands from my face, I propped myself up weakly on the elbows to see Kougaiji-sama's head moving between my thighs, his wild red hair spread like a fiery waterfall over my legs.

Startled by the intimacy of this entire act, I tried desperately to move away from him and press my legs together, anything to escape the sheer embarrassment of it all.

"Kou-Kougaiji-sama…This…No…"

He paused in his ministrations, leaving a huge void that left me some what relieved yet aching for more, before he looked up. I had to bite my lower lip to stifle a soft moan; his eyes were clouded with lust and his face was coated with a clear, sticky fluid, which I knew had come from me.

Face burning with embarrassment, I tried to speak, "Kougaiji-sama…this is…this is too dirty for you. You…you don't have to do this…"

"I don't find it dirty at all, Yaone." He replied calmly, looking at me in the eyes. "Allow me to pleasure you. If it doesn't please you, tell me and I'll stop. I would also like for you to address me by 'Kougaiji'."

I breathed out slowly, my nerves calmed down greatly by the overpowering love I felt for the man in front of me. If he had been any less of a man, he would have been frustrated with me by now, instead of treating me so kindly.

Nodding slowly, I leaned back to lie on the bed, spreading my legs as wide as I could for him. "I'm ready, Kougaiji."

And the assault began.

His strong hands held my legs firmly apart as he delivered sensations I've never felt, leaving me writhing and tossing my head from side to side in a bid for some sanity to cling on to. Then overwhelming sensations were so great, I thought I might die from the pleasure of it. I could see sparks behind my closed eyes, there were so many of them, but before anything else could happen, I felt a heart-stopping rush of pleasure engulf me. For a moment, my mind was blown into oblivion, and my body could only convulse helplessly around Kougaiji-sama while his tongue continued playing with the most intimate parts of my body.

As I came down from my high, I felt his skillful tongue cleaning me up, the contact with my sensitized clitoris sending another small shudder through me. He moved up the length of my body to settle himself comfortably between my legs, before reaching out to embrace me.

"How did that feel?" He asked, running his hand through my slightly matted hair.

"Good." I breathed, still trying to catch my breath from the intense sensations earlier on.

"Then…" He paused, as if unsure of what to do or say. Looking up at him, it suddenly dawned upon me what he was referring to. Evidence of what he wanted was pressing against the base of my stomach, throbbing and hard, and I noticed the stiffness of his body and the increased pace of his breathing.

Looking deep into those maroon eyes I loved so much, I reached down between us to hold him in my hand, ignoring the hiss that escaped him, and positioning the head at my entrance.

"Take me, Kougaiji."

He needed no further encouragement, and pushed forward in one swift move, filling me to the hilt. The pain that followed was acute, bringing a sharp gasp of pain and tears to my eyes. It hurt so badly, and all I could do was cling on to Kougaiji-sama as tightly as I could, waiting for the pain to subside.

"I'm sorry, Yaone, I'm sorry…" He mumbled incoherently by my ear, kissing tears away from my face, while holding his body as still as he could.

After a while, the pain subsided, only to be replaced by the feeling of being deliciously filled. Moving slightly to signal to him my readiness, he began pulling out and thrusting in, reaching my soul over and over again…

* * *

As we lay together on my bed after our love-making, I gave him a small smile.

"Thank you, Kougaiji-sama."

He smiled back, his features evidently sleepy.

"Don't ever leave me, Yaone…" He whispered, before he drifted off to sleep in my arms. "Promise me…"

"I promise." I smiled, as I allowed sleep to take over.

_

* * *

The End._

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the short story…please review! I find the relationship between the two of them immensely beautiful, and only hope you feel the same.


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